life has never been easy?

i have been acting stupid innocent naive since all the while as i believed this is the only way for me to survive so fuck-ed-up-ly. yes my mind is about what i want to do what i want to have what i want to achieve, it's all about what-i-want. i always-only want to be a normal student, i don't like standing in front of a whole bunch of people and speak out loud like how michelle chin does. i feel so awkward and uneasy. i am not brave enough to be a leader and take up all the responsibility. i learn but i don't practice. i always tolerate even though they always take me for granted. i thank them deeply in my heart but i never showed them appreciation. i shared my idea, but i did not speak out loud. when conflicts take place, i just think of how to avoid it and have a break.




i know i am not going be succeed if i don't change.
when can i transform into a butterfly. can you do it venus lim? =/




# and i don't have faith in myself. yes i am that fuck-ed-up.

bye

o0o

i thought your top priority is ME!

pencils and sharpener

106 here only

i have sharpen more than 200 pencils in 2 days. this is what trainee can do. sigh.

working in housekeeping is super sien, unproductive and memang a waste of time. 

map of Pangkor Island

HEHE!

***

0020

i make sure my stomach is full before go to bed every single night so my 大哥 tapao for me Uncle Lim's food, i had never missed once unless i have already had my dinner at pangkor. having supper makes me feel relax and the feeling is so GOOD until i think supper gives me a better sleep quality and all ( this is my definition of food therapy :D) . and tonight, i have got nothing to eat neither a piece of watermelon that will make me pee in the middle of night.

i am so emo. i think my 大哥 don't care about me liao. i am so emo.