life has never been easy?

i have been acting stupid innocent naive since all the while as i believed this is the only way for me to survive so fuck-ed-up-ly. yes my mind is about what i want to do what i want to have what i want to achieve, it's all about what-i-want. i always-only want to be a normal student, i don't like standing in front of a whole bunch of people and speak out loud like how michelle chin does. i feel so awkward and uneasy. i am not brave enough to be a leader and take up all the responsibility. i learn but i don't practice. i always tolerate even though they always take me for granted. i thank them deeply in my heart but i never showed them appreciation. i shared my idea, but i did not speak out loud. when conflicts take place, i just think of how to avoid it and have a break.




i know i am not going be succeed if i don't change.
when can i transform into a butterfly. can you do it venus lim? =/




# and i don't have faith in myself. yes i am that fuck-ed-up.